Accepting Imperfection: The Only Way to Choose “Ready”
I am a total perfectionist and an overthinker. It took me over two months just to settle on the name Aligned Insight Collective before filing the paperwork to make it official. This perfectionism is not new. In the first grade, I was a straight-A student and would still get incredibly worked up if I made even the teeniest, tiniest mistake. My fear of being imperfect was noticeable and severe—to the point that my mom sent me to school with a little troll doll (remember those?) to keep on my desk for comfort. It held a red flag that said, “Nobody’s Perfect.” (It was a red flag alright! A sign that my perfectionism would get in my way and lead to unhealthy habits for decades to come.)
Now, despite striving for perfection, I’ve made some pretty monumental f*ck-ups in my life and continue to make missteps regularly. So it’s not that I think I am perfect; it’s just that I think I should be. This makes starting an endeavor like this (teaching mindfulness, launching a website, sharing my writings) quite a challenge. It’s not that I think I can’t do it, necessarily - it’s just that each tiny step that should take an hour will take me two months if I spend as much time as I think I need to make it “good enough” (i.e., perfect).
At a meditation retreat I attended earlier this year, one of the teachers gave some parting words that stuck with me. She said, “Each of you has a special gift to share with the world. It doesn’t need to be perfect in order for you to start sharing it.” I’ve also heard it said that “being ready isn’t a feeling; it’s a decision.” So… consider this my decision to be ready to share what I’ve gained through mindfulness with you.
I take comfort in the fact that you’re probably not here because you want some perfect, enlightened mindfulness teacher who thinks they have it all figured out. (FYI, the best mindfulness teachers know they have very little figured out!) Instead, you’re probably here because you want to be more present for yourself and others, and to inch toward meeting life’s ups and downs with a little more steadiness. At least that’s why I’m here.
Someone asked me, “What is the ‘Collective’ part of Aligned Insight Collective?” Part of it has to do with how I plan to expand offerings in the future, to include other mindfulness teachers and friends/colleagues working in adjacent spaces (mindful art, yoga, etc.). But the other reason is that I find mindfulness to inherently be a collective experience. It brings us together in realizing we are all walking the same path - experiencing all the joys and sorrows of being human and doing our best to navigate it all.
In that collective spirit, I wonder if you might have something of your own you can decide to be ready for. If you want to take a step forward, I’d be happy to have company on the path of beginning something new. And if you want to mull it over for two months (or two decades) or never take action at all, there will be absolutely no judgment from me. Mindfulness isn’t about trying to change anything, after all. It’s about becoming more aware of ourselves and how we engage with the world. Often, change grows from that awareness. Sometimes it doesn't.
Mindfulness has taught me that life isn’t something that begins once we’ve fixed all our flaws, answered all our questions, or finally gotten everything right. Life is happening right now, in the middle of the uncertainty, imperfection, and messiness. So rather than waiting until I feel completely ready, I’m choosing to begin. If you’re doing the same in some area of your own life, welcome. I’m glad we’re walking this path together.
